


How to Woo Your Octopus (Boyfriend)

by Fweeble



Series: Jacobson's Organ [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Unbeta'd, bad octopus jokes, drabble length
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2412032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fweeble/pseuds/Fweeble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki loves Hide. Most of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Woo Your Octopus (Boyfriend)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Qouinette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qouinette/gifts).



> For qouinette because of the tags on this that made me cackle and this gorgeous comic that left me with the intense need to write Hide being a little shit. Because I love when he’s a little shit. (And so does Kaneki.)
> 
> First pun taken directly from a post on tumblr. Takes place after Fragrance.

Kaneki loves Hide. Most of the time.  
  
The rest of the time, Kaneki is very sure that Hide is the most vexing and exasperating person to ever inhabit the known universe. And he might hate Hide, just a little.  
  
This, he thinks, is one of those times.  
  
He stares down at his phones, at the ludicrous, dancing cephalopods that box the words “ _You octopi my thoughts <3_” that Hide had sent him and thinks of their morning. He remembers Hide sucking the last traces of sweet glaze off his fingers after his breakfast of donuts as the blond had said, “You know, the second tentacle on the octopus isn’t actually an arm.” The infuriating waggle of his boyfriend’s eyebrows had almost been enough for Kaneki to grab for the nearest pillow to beat him with. Hide’s next words did have him reaching for the couch cushion. “Which one of yours do you think it is?”  
  
Hide had skipped out of the front door sniggering, narrowly dancing out of the way of the cushion launched with pinpoint accuracy at his skull. “I love you, Kaneki~” he had sung before Kaneki slammed the door shut behind him with a long-suffering, “Just leave, Hide.”  
  
The terrible octopus puns and suggestive double entendres continue throughout the day and the ghoul's patience wears dangerously thin. Around three in the afternoon, after Kaneki has finished his class at the university, his phone pings.  
  
“ _You’re the only_ ten _tacle I see_.”  
  
Kaneki nearly crushes his phone.  
  
He returns home, makes himself comfortable on the couch, asks himself why he loves Hide, and promptly forgets all his irritation after opening his current novel. It isn’t until he hears the sounds of keys jingling and the front door creaking open that Kaneki remembers how cross he is and he puts down his book. He rolls his shoulders back, cracks his neck, and begins with “Hide, I really don’t appreciate –" only to find the other man eating takoyaki, the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.  
  
“Mmmm, octopus balls,” the blond says through a mouthful, those damn eyebrows once again waggling. “Delicious. Can’t get enough of them.”  
  
“You are the absolute worst,” Kaneki grinds out as he marches over, waits just long enough for Hide to swallow, and pulls his asshole of a boyfriend down for a kiss. “I hate you.”  
  
“You love me and my sense of humor.”  
  
“I hate you and everything you stand for. But I’m going to hate you from inside the bedroom. Now.”  
  
Hide’s uproarious laughter swells that fills the entire apartment as he allows the ghoul to drag him to their room is the best sound Kaneki has ever heard.  
  
 _This is why I put up with him_ , Kaneki thinks as he tips his idiot onto the bed, a ridiculous smile overtaking his face.  
  
 _He makes me happy._  
  
  



End file.
